Order born of fear. Claiming the seconds that make up the minutes that make up a life. Doubting, too, these thoughts.
I’ve resisted writing. There is little new to say. Old terrain, worn terrain. And I annoy myself. And how! But it goes round. This thought. And that. Fueled by fear. Fear itself. Fear of failure. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of weakness. Fear of being seen. Fear of second place, of ridicule, of pain. Fear of […]
The greatest gift you can give another is a piece of your deepest self. Not your time. Not your money; but something more precious still. Is it understanding, or compassion, or attention that you offer? Is there a word bringing these together? Love? That piece you offer freely, that is the gift. You offer without […]
Set me adrift in the blackness, Let me spin aimlessly like a homeless globe, Traversing endless light-years without bearing. Release me to the void. To the black velvety comfort of a lightless horizon. I see. I hear. Nothing. A selfish bastard denying the world. One final cowardly display of spite. I spit at thee and […]
There is little to build upon moving forward when the second time around is the same as the first.
Spent a lifetime talking to that metaphorical wall, Beat my hands and head until they bled. Through streaming tears pleaded desperately, ‘WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?’ Spent a lifetime talking to that metaphorical wall, Until yesterday, When I chose to listen.
Insight my mind has not brought! Endless loops with doubt fraught! Infinite thoughts pitifully caught! Stagnation has only wrought rot!
It takes a village to raise a child, a flag to raze the children. – Chris Hannah
Stop that grasping, and just let it go. I don’t exist, and never have. This body, this mind, these cells of bone, muscle, nerves and skin. I am an illusion, emerging from a neural network, unifying through gross abstraction, these multiple, interacting, embedded parts. I am and I am not. I am here, but I […]
Twenty-four fountains. Spitting vertical spouts of clear water a foot high. Each stream pulled down on itself by gravity; unfurling liquid ferns held together by surface tension. At the tip of each transparent crystal frond quickly accelerating towards Earth’s center, fracturing and division as multiple single droplets break free; the droplets pit patting, pit patting, […]
‘How are you?’ ‘How are you?’ she said. In a floating transitional state, waiting for the cosmos to give me the sign. Where are my legs? And gravity? In a hyper-(ir)rational state. Am I sure of my arithmetic? Who says the world is logical? Logic to prove logic seems, well, ill-logical. I am tense. But […]
Trapped in this skin, A developed presence trying to break free, From the lower back, up along the edges of the spine, over and around the middle of the head: a pulling, wrenching pressure. Something long dormant has awoken, Cracking the thick, drying skin, Snapping the taught sinew and corded muscle, Breaking brittle bone, relieving […]
Hitting bottom isn’t a weekend retreat. It’s not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying to control everything and just let go! LET GO! – Tyler Durden from Fight Club
I am a play-acting leader wandering aimlessly, Trudging up and down each ridge and valley, Marching headstrong on twisted paths unknowing; Eager to say ‘Here is the way, follow me.’ I set off young, ill-equipped, and eagerly, To a distant snow-capped peak I aimed to journey, Heavy burdensome pack filled to overflowing; Doubt, inexperience, […]
Check out video here. Check out lyric interpretations here. Writers: Adam Jones, Daniel Carey, Maynard Keenan, Justin Chancellor The Grudge Wear the grudge like a crown of negativity. Calculate what we will or will not tolerate. Desperate to control all and everything. Unable to forgive your scarlet lettermen.Clutch it like a cornerstone. Otherwise it all […]
For eleven years we stood side by side, drifting on the surface of a mirror lake. Eyes cast down, we mistook our reflections for reality. And as we drifted toward the approaching falls, the surface remained smooth, unbroken, for we drifted imperceptibly. In and out of silent coves, we failed to register the shifting shores. […]
Severed narratives. Ego, understanding, security, perspective, ripped asunder. Open, festering, emotional wounds. Who am I? With what do I build again? How do I see again? Where does the nightmare end and the future begin? I repeat: where does the nightmare end and the future begin? Optimistically uncertain. But afraid. Nervous. What parts of the […]
What is my problem? I can’t control this anymore. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. A million times let it out. Do you want to be that person? No? Let it out. Let it out. You don’t need control. Let it out. Let it out. Let go of the control. You don’t […]
Just because it hurts doesn’t make it bad. And pleasure can be an insidious companion. Addiction may bring ecstatic release; enlightened dedication, anxious suffocation. The devil wears many guises, and a rose sits atop a ladder of thorns.
I am sorry for the things I’ve done, of which I was aware, And I am sorry for the things I’ve done, in my ignorance at the time. But I am sorry more for the things I didn’t do, the things I didn’t do, the things I didn’t do. I didn’t know – to be […]