• Black crows

    Black crows

    Black crows are silhouettes against a cotton sky. There is light. And there is dark. The dark cannot subsume the light. Shine a light, and the dark must give way. Shadows are wholly dependent. But light shines of its own accord. Black crows are silhouettes against a cotton sky.

  • Ascending simplicity

    Ascending simplicity

    It took some time, but they finally arrived, the thoughts leading me to hope again. Here in the cold on a damp bench, water flows and ducks preen, and people walk past hand in hand. I would gladly share this space, and yet I am gladly alone, I just am and they just are, and…

  • Be vulnerable

    Be vulnerable

    Let them out, give them reign, let those cleansing tears flow. Let them pass, be not ashamed, let those choking fears go. Let it beat, relieve the pain, let your heart’s true rhythm show. Let the soothing abandon engulf you, make its velvet touch your home. Be cradled, pure and vulnerable, and trust, you are…

  • Switching costumes

    Switching costumes

    This damn thing is an absurd joke. Oh not again. Not again. I’ve seen myself a thousand times and I have not changed a bit. One day it will all end. The ideals of a frightened boy: all smashed. One day it will all end and the ideals will not save me. We were made…

  • Thought for food – 9 – a psychological axiom

    Thought for food – 9 – a psychological axiom

    There is no such thing as dishonesty. It doesn’t exist in any meaningful sense. In our deepest selves fluctuating values constantly tug on the strings of our wills. Behind any deceptive act is a value held to be true; a belief which, no matter how wrong might appear to another, completely informs the actions of…

  • Here I choose to live

    Here I choose to live

    A new world opened before me. One overflowing with light and love. I am neither reluctant nor expectant to enter, for reluctance implies doubt, expectancy implies dependency; I neither fear what lies within, nor seek salvation. I know this world is meant for me. I will take my time to explore and learn. I will…

  • Let love reign

    Please take these words, and cast them across a crimson sky. Let the whole world read what I have been led to see. There is no pain so great, nor fear too deep, that a breath of pure love cannot ease. Allow love the day to seize. Let love reign, and be free.

  • Lyrics #10 – Nine by Sleeping at Last

    Who am ITo say what any of this means?I have been sleepwalkingSince I was fourteen. Now as I write my songI retrace my stepsHonestly, it’s easierTo let myself forget. Still, I check my vital signsChoked up, I realizeI’ve been less than half myselfFor more than half my life. Wake upFall in love againWage war on…

  • To the one I know but have never met

    To the one I know but have never met

    On nights when stars pierce the dirty panes, And the moon casts shadows in my dark room, With gentle embrace I cradle invisible space, And my velvet heart beats to thoughts of you. The miles between us are meaningless, Crossed instantly on avenues of moonlight.

  • Snapshot of meaning – 1

    Snapshot of meaning – 1

    Plump gray bird on fallow field, Beady brown eyes reflecting setting sun, I bike past slower than an emotion, Which fills the scene with infinite meaning.

  • Thought for food – 8

    Thought for food – 8

    The hours, the days, they come, and they go. But the moment – it lasts forever.

  • I walk towards the dancing light

    I walk towards the dancing light

    If there is no light, then there is no dark. I have fallen into the dark; I have become despair, doubt, infinite dread. The dark says, ‘Turn your back on the light, there is no hope there; the closer you are permitted to come to the light, the further you will inevitably fall. Stay here,…

  • The divine ape

    The divine ape

    There’s a pain that only I may know. If it is common why do I feel so alone? ‘There is more day to dawn. The sun is but a morning star.’ Has this wisdom failed me, or have I chosen not to see? The love of two bound souls…the curves of hips and naked backs…mouths…

  • The victim’s prayer

    The victim’s prayer

    Dear Lord. Almighty mighty Lord. You have graver grievances to attend, I am sure. But Lord, hear me out. Listen to my (self)-pitiful pleas. Please. They say there is no rest for the wicked. I say what a load of shit. (HORSESHIT my Lord. The wicked rest wonderfully. Deeply. Soundly. Undisturbed by haunting visions of…

  • And yet, compassion

    And yet, compassion

    Good out of weakness. Strict normative principles so as to control the world. A moral absolutist so as not to get hurt. Actions not adhering to, not possible to adhere to, such strict moral principles. Hurt inevitably following. Afraid to live. Ashamed to love. Each breath self-reflective. Critical. Analytical. Simply not comfortable in my own…

  • I heard a noise and saw an image

    I heard a noise and saw an image

    The solitary seagull’s single squawk heard through the open bathroom window. I am too far inland for any sea bird to speak through tilted glass. A distorted remembrance of a time yet to come. I see myself there up ahead, as I imagine I was. A strong and confident man. Ten, maybe fifteen years from…

  • Blameless organic life

    Blameless organic life

    Life is organic; an unfolding web of cause and effect. Free will and the sense of self are illusory, and we all come laden with evolutionary, cultural, and familial baggage. Our neural networks are infinitely nuanced, such that no two people in a population of billions are exactly the same. Life is staggeringly complex, seemingly…

  • Why glimpse into the ether? – comment

    Why glimpse into the ether? – comment

    In response to a recent query. I thought it worth sharing, as it highlights the motivation behind the seemingly tortuous mission to ‘know thyself’. ‘For me, I not only glimpse into the ether, I spend days, months, years, living within and breathing the ether. If by ether you mean the unknown, the fear and anxiety…

  • This is Water – David Foster Wallace

    This is Water – David Foster Wallace

    Note: this commencement speech was given in 2005. It was recently recommended to me by a close friend. It distills and conveys an approach to living that, in my mind, should guide each of us on our journeys. YouTube audio can be found here. “Greetings parents and congratulations to Kenyon’s graduating class of 2005. There…

  • Thought for food – 4

    Thought for food – 4

    Each path a life; the worn and barely used alike. The majority of your fellow travellers rarely, if ever, escape their guiding illusions, their paths crisscrossing the world, forming wide corridors and highways of frenzied activity, leading nowhere. They may have tread many more an empty mile than you, but in your stubbornness and reluctance…

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