It took some time, but they finally arrived, the thoughts leading me to hope again. Here in the cold on a damp bench, water flows and ducks preen, and people walk past hand in hand. I would gladly share this space, and yet I am gladly alone, I just am and they just are, and […]
If we insist on outdueling the other, we will eventually find there is nobody left to whom we relate. A healthy relationship is not a duel of wit or will waged behind defensive walls; but a patient organic blooming of giving, understanding, and compassion. Through giving we may receive; through understanding we may question; through […]
I cannot go back in time. But I can do the next best thing: start making positive improvements in my life right now.
There is no such thing as dishonesty. It doesn’t exist in any meaningful sense. In our deepest selves fluctuating values constantly tug on the strings of our wills. Behind any deceptive act is a value held to be true; a belief which, no matter how wrong might appear to another, completely informs the actions of […]
A new world opened before me. One overflowing with light and love. I am neither reluctant nor expectant to enter, for reluctance implies doubt, expectancy implies dependency; I neither fear what lies within, nor seek salvation. I know this world is meant for me. I will take my time to explore and learn. I will […]
I know that. Living to avoid life. Erecting walls of fake concrete. Thick. High. Encompassing the spirit, the mind. I know that. Belief in those fake concrete walls. Belief they are impenetrable. Apparent safety within. Each minute head bowed. Praying, sacrificing, worshiping an illusion. Within the comfortable confines of illusory fortresses, ego is king. Weakness […]
Set me adrift in the blackness, Let me spin aimlessly like a homeless globe, Traversing endless light-years without bearing. Release me to the void. To the black velvety comfort of a lightless horizon. I see. I hear. Nothing. A selfish bastard denying the world. One final cowardly display of spite. I spit at thee and […]
Here’s an experiment. Tomorrow, before entering the world, wear your hair a different way. Don socks that don’t match. When asked ‘how are you?’, don’t lie. Frown. When the queen walks in, remain seated. Be honest. Be yourself tomorrow. Unless you are infinitely agreeable, unless your hair looks equally good parted, unless you are God, […]
Spent a lifetime talking to that metaphorical wall, Beat my hands and head until they bled. Through streaming tears pleaded desperately, ‘WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?’ Spent a lifetime talking to that metaphorical wall, Until yesterday, When I chose to listen.
Heed not too quickly the disapproving gaze, it may be the clearest proof yet you are on the correct way.
Stop feeding off my pain. I cannot take it any longer. The burden, the weight, is far too great. I am no longer your scapegoat, your bearer of misfortune. My pain cannot heal you. I am not your savior. Though I love you, I need my strength for me. For me and for them. (When […]
It is slowing down. The letters, the words, only now a trickle. A sign of change. Healing, optimism? Or the opposite: resignation? This….this is my life. This is my life? Resignation. Someone, oh someone pick me up! Bathe and clothe and nurture me. Point the way, or better yet, take me there. Oh, someone please […]
I can’t force the parts of me to emerge, to come out from hiding. That is one of the paradoxes here: set the mind to let go of control, make that a goal, and the mind automatically elects an executor, gives it the label ‘I’, and sets to work. But by that very act, the […]
Originally posted on The Abyss Post:
Silence reason and there, within A fruit of consciousness and reflection, Pushes like a force against the walls of the mind, Like the beauty of a cloudless morn, Something indescribable. On another plane, When you were young, paddling A warcraft canoe with your dad – captain, On Frog Lake…
To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering. – Friedrich Nietzsche
Stop that grasping, and just let it go. I don’t exist, and never have. This body, this mind, these cells of bone, muscle, nerves and skin. I am an illusion, emerging from a neural network, unifying through gross abstraction, these multiple, interacting, embedded parts. I am and I am not. I am here, but I […]
Outside a café by the central bus station. Wasps. A gentle breeze stalling their forward propulsion. They hover, drawn to the foamed milk and cocoa powder topping my cappuccino. Enlightening places: central transportation hubs. A congregation of humanity’s diversity: addicts; homeless; drunkards clasping and gulping bottles of warm beer; schoolkids travelling home from school; workers […]
Twenty-four fountains. Spitting vertical spouts of clear water a foot high. Each stream pulled down on itself by gravity; unfurling liquid ferns held together by surface tension. At the tip of each transparent crystal frond quickly accelerating towards Earth’s center, fracturing and division as multiple single droplets break free; the droplets pit patting, pit patting, […]
Check song out here. Goner I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I wanna be known by you I wanna be known by you I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I wanna be known by you I wanna be known […]
Check out song here. This forced hour This night’s drone Eased me into submission Not speaking new assumptions This downpour It washes my ambition And strains my tired vision I’ll fold right now If I don’t find a place to think More than relief Threat’s unsettling I’m past the line Of keeping nervously discrete I […]