• ….perhaps 99.9%. Most of the world, if not all, either does not care, or is too delusional to join your journey… …I mean… …tell me your story. Help me see…am I honestly so weird? …no more assumptions. I will dearly listen; for I dearly care. …hello…hello…is there anybody there? …do you feel those stars? Have…

  • Ascending simplicity

    Ascending simplicity

    It took some time, but they finally arrived, the thoughts leading me to hope again. Here in the cold on a damp bench, water flows and ducks preen, and people walk past hand in hand. I would gladly share this space, and yet I am gladly alone, I just am and they just are, and…

  • Thought for food – 12

    Thought for food – 12

    If we insist on outdueling the other, we will eventually find there is nobody left to whom we relate. A healthy relationship is not a duel of wit or will waged behind defensive walls; but a patient organic blooming of giving, understanding, and compassion. Through giving we may receive; through understanding we may question; through…

  • Thought for food – 10

    Thought for food – 10

    I cannot go back in time. But I can do the next best thing: start making positive improvements in my life right now.

  • Thought for food – 9 – a psychological axiom

    Thought for food – 9 – a psychological axiom

    There is no such thing as dishonesty. It doesn’t exist in any meaningful sense. In our deepest selves fluctuating values constantly tug on the strings of our wills. Behind any deceptive act is a value held to be true; a belief which, no matter how wrong might appear to another, completely informs the actions of…

  • Here I choose to live

    Here I choose to live

    A new world opened before me. One overflowing with light and love. I am neither reluctant nor expectant to enter, for reluctance implies doubt, expectancy implies dependency; I neither fear what lies within, nor seek salvation. I know this world is meant for me. I will take my time to explore and learn. I will…

  • The illusory fortress

    I know that. Living to avoid life. Erecting walls of fake concrete. Thick. High. Encompassing the spirit, the mind. I know that. Belief in those fake concrete walls. Belief they are impenetrable. Apparent safety within. Each minute head bowed. Praying, sacrificing, worshiping an illusion. Within the comfortable confines of illusory fortresses, ego is king. Weakness…

  • Optimism


    Set me adrift in the blackness, Let me spin aimlessly like a homeless globe, Traversing endless light-years without bearing. Release me to the void. To the black velvety comfort of a lightless horizon. I see. I hear.  Nothing. A selfish bastard denying the world. One final cowardly display of spite. I spit at thee and…

  • Alienation: an experiment

    Alienation: an experiment

    Here’s an experiment. Tomorrow, before entering the world, wear your hair a different way. Don socks that don’t match. When asked ‘how are you?’, don’t lie. Frown. When the queen walks in, remain seated.  Be honest. Be yourself tomorrow. Unless you are infinitely agreeable, unless your hair looks equally good parted, unless you are God,…

  • The wall

    The wall

    Spent a lifetime talking to that metaphorical wall, Beat my hands and head until they bled. Through streaming tears pleaded desperately,  ‘WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?’ Spent a lifetime talking to that metaphorical wall, Until yesterday, When I chose to listen.

  • Aphorisms – 2

    Aphorisms – 2

    Heed not too quickly the disapproving gaze, it may be the clearest proof yet you are on the correct way.

  • Conversations with myself – #2

    Conversations with myself – #2

    Stop feeding off my pain. I cannot take it any longer. The burden, the weight, is far too great. I am no longer your scapegoat, your bearer of misfortune. My pain cannot heal you. I am not your savior. Though I love you, I need my strength for me. For me and for them. (When…

  • I only move if you push me

    I only move if you push me

    It is slowing down. The letters, the words, only now a trickle. A sign of change. Healing, optimism? Or the opposite: resignation? This….this is my life. This is my life? Resignation. Someone, oh someone pick me up! Bathe and clothe and nurture me. Point the way, or better yet, take me there. Oh, someone please…

  • Conversations with myself – #1

    Conversations with myself – #1

    I can’t force the parts of me to emerge, to come out from hiding. That is one of the paradoxes here: set the mind to let go of control, make that a goal, and the mind automatically elects an executor, gives it the label ‘I’, and sets to work. But by that very act, the…

  • Fatherhood – a poem

    Fatherhood – a poem

    Originally posted on The Abyss Post: Silence reason and there, within A fruit of consciousness and reflection, Pushes like a force against the walls of the mind, Like the beauty of a cloudless morn, Something indescribable. On another plane, When you were young, paddling A warcraft canoe with your dad – captain, On Frog Lake…

  • Quote #5

    Quote #5

    To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering. – Friedrich Nietzsche

  • Dissociation


    Stop that grasping, and just let it go. I don’t exist, and never have. This body, this mind, these cells of bone, muscle, nerves and skin. I am an illusion, emerging from a neural network, unifying through gross abstraction, these multiple, interacting, embedded parts. I am and I am not. I am here, but I…

  • Bus station ecology

    Bus station ecology

    Outside a café by the central bus station. Wasps. A gentle breeze stalling their forward propulsion. They hover, drawn to the foamed milk and cocoa powder topping my cappuccino. Enlightening places: central transportation hubs. A congregation of humanity’s diversity: addicts; homeless; drunkards clasping and gulping bottles of warm beer; schoolkids travelling home from school; workers…

  • Twenty-four fountains

    Twenty-four fountains

    Twenty-four fountains. Spitting vertical spouts of clear water a foot high. Each stream pulled down on itself by gravity; unfurling liquid ferns held together by surface tension. At the tip of each transparent crystal frond quickly accelerating towards Earth’s center, fracturing and division as multiple single droplets break free; the droplets pit patting, pit patting,…

  • Lyrics #3 – Goner – by Twenty One Pilots

    Lyrics #3 – Goner – by Twenty One Pilots

    Check song out here. Goner I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I wanna be known by you I wanna be known by you I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I wanna be known by you I wanna be known…

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