Turning within to walk outward
With my fingernails broken I scratch, Every single hidden crevice and patch, Until I, tediously excavating the last, Finally from this space move past. And yet with doubt constantly plagued, Trapped wild beast mercilessly caged, In my head the war bloodily waged, Inane, insane, engulfed, enraged. Have you yourself lost in loops been? Thoughts’ ends […]
I’m not reaching out. I’m not playing the victim. I’m not drowning in self-pity (though my knees are definitely wet). I’m reaching inward. I am fighting. I may be drowning in tears of frustration, sadness, hope, joy. I am suffering, but I am not only suffering. I am healing. Slowly, methodically, not always patiently, always […]
Listen here. At first I was afraid I was petrified I kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights Just thinking how you’d done me wrong I grew strong I learned how to get along. And so you’re back From outer space I just walked […]
I am an old soul. I weep at the beauty of woodland paths, of slanted sunbeams breaking through autumn canopies, and falling, twirling, dancing leaves of red, orange, yellow and brown. I love this world. And my existence. The animals in the forest, I know they are there. And that suffices. The trees, the streams, […]
I apologize in advance; I don’t want to bore you with these things. I know sooner than later I will be speaking alone to the abyss; my voice a fading echo traveling through stale air, reaching no ears. Nobody will hear. The pain, the fear. I want to run. Faster than the wind outside these […]
Check song and lyrics out here. Beggars All you great men of power, you who boast of your feats Politicians and entrepreneurs Can you safeguard your breath in the night while you sleep? Keep your heart beating steady and sure? As you lie in your bed does the thought haunt your head That you’re really […]
There are words to capture how I feel, I have lowered my caloric intake to zero To discover what they are. My mind and body are one, Starving for nourishment, Twisting into hungry knots. What matters in this state? This life is all I get, And I fill it with emptiness; Cardboard cutouts of complex […]
Stop feeding off my pain. I cannot take it any longer. The burden, the weight, is far too great. I am no longer your scapegoat, your bearer of misfortune. My pain cannot heal you. I am not your savior. Though I love you, I need my strength for me. For me and for them. (When […]
It is slowing down. The letters, the words, only now a trickle. A sign of change. Healing, optimism? Or the opposite: resignation? This….this is my life. This is my life? Resignation. Someone, oh someone pick me up! Bathe and clothe and nurture me. Point the way, or better yet, take me there. Oh, someone please […]
I can’t force the parts of me to emerge, to come out from hiding. That is one of the paradoxes here: set the mind to let go of control, make that a goal, and the mind automatically elects an executor, gives it the label ‘I’, and sets to work. But by that very act, the […]
Originally posted on The Abyss Post:
Silence reason and there, within A fruit of consciousness and reflection, Pushes like a force against the walls of the mind, Like the beauty of a cloudless morn, Something indescribable. On another plane, When you were young, paddling A warcraft canoe with your dad – captain, On Frog Lake…
To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering. – Friedrich Nietzsche
Stop that grasping, and just let it go. I don’t exist, and never have. This body, this mind, these cells of bone, muscle, nerves and skin. I am an illusion, emerging from a neural network, unifying through gross abstraction, these multiple, interacting, embedded parts. I am and I am not. I am here, but I […]
Outside a café by the central bus station. Wasps. A gentle breeze stalling their forward propulsion. They hover, drawn to the foamed milk and cocoa powder topping my cappuccino. Enlightening places: central transportation hubs. A congregation of humanity’s diversity: addicts; homeless; drunkards clasping and gulping bottles of warm beer; schoolkids travelling home from school; workers […]
Twenty-four fountains. Spitting vertical spouts of clear water a foot high. Each stream pulled down on itself by gravity; unfurling liquid ferns held together by surface tension. At the tip of each transparent crystal frond quickly accelerating towards Earth’s center, fracturing and division as multiple single droplets break free; the droplets pit patting, pit patting, […]
Check song out here. Treaty I’ve seen you change the water into wine I’ve seen you change it back to water too I sit at your table every night I try but I just don’t get high with you I wish there was a treaty we could sign I do not care who takes this […]
Check song out here. Goner I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I wanna be known by you I wanna be known by you I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I wanna be known by you I wanna be known […]
‘How are you?’ ‘How are you?’ she said. In a floating transitional state, waiting for the cosmos to give me the sign. Where are my legs? And gravity? In a hyper-(ir)rational state. Am I sure of my arithmetic? Who says the world is logical? Logic to prove logic seems, well, ill-logical. I am tense. But […]
Trapped in this skin, A developed presence trying to break free, From the lower back, up along the edges of the spine, over and around the middle of the head: a pulling, wrenching pressure. Something long dormant has awoken, Cracking the thick, drying skin, Snapping the taught sinew and corded muscle, Breaking brittle bone, relieving […]
I am a play-acting leader wandering aimlessly, Trudging up and down each ridge and valley, Marching headstrong on twisted paths unknowing; Eager to say ‘Here is the way, follow me.’ I set off young, ill-equipped, and eagerly, To a distant snow-capped peak I aimed to journey, Heavy burdensome pack filled to overflowing; Doubt, inexperience, […]
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