This damn thing is an absurd joke. Oh not again. Not again. I’ve seen myself a thousand times and I have not changed a bit. One day it will all end. The ideals of a frightened boy: all smashed. One day it will all end and the ideals will not save me. We were made […]
Tag: existential malaise
I walk towards the dancing light
If there is no light, then there is no dark. I have fallen into the dark; I have become despair, doubt, infinite dread. The dark says, ‘Turn your back on the light, there is no hope there; the closer you are permitted to come to the light, the further you will inevitably fall. Stay here, […]
Thought for food – 4
Each path a life; the worn and barely used alike. The majority of your fellow travellers rarely, if ever, escape their guiding illusions, their paths crisscrossing the world, forming wide corridors and highways of frenzied activity, leading nowhere. They may have tread many more an empty mile than you, but in your stubbornness and reluctance […]
Alone in a world of believers
You are blessed and cursed to have found your meaning in the question of meaning itself. Blessed to be motivated to take a journey of deepest discovery, not only of the universe without, but of the universe within. Cursed to be born in a world of believers, who are constantly and continuously tricked by the […]
Conversations with myself – #4
I’ve resisted writing. There is little new to say. Old terrain, worn terrain. And I annoy myself. And how! But it goes round. This thought. And that. Fueled by fear. Fear itself. Fear of failure. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of weakness. Fear of being seen. Fear of second place, of ridicule, of pain. Fear of […]
Optimism
Set me adrift in the blackness, Let me spin aimlessly like a homeless globe, Traversing endless light-years without bearing. Release me to the void. To the black velvety comfort of a lightless horizon. I see. I hear. Nothing. A selfish bastard denying the world. One final cowardly display of spite. I spit at thee and […]
Alienation: an experiment
Here’s an experiment. Tomorrow, before entering the world, wear your hair a different way. Don socks that don’t match. When asked ‘how are you?’, don’t lie. Frown. When the queen walks in, remain seated. Be honest. Be yourself tomorrow. Unless you are infinitely agreeable, unless your hair looks equally good parted, unless you are God, […]
The switch
The mind has made a switch, From days inward searching spent, To heed the call of assumed responsibilities, And rejoin the careening wheels of society. The mind has made a switch, And slides sadly into this communal pit.
…rhyming Homer with Homer…
Insight my mind has not brought! Endless loops with doubt fraught! Infinite thoughts pitifully caught! Stagnation has only wrought rot!
The fortress nursery
I am a play-acting leader wandering aimlessly, Trudging up and down each ridge and valley, Marching headstrong on twisted paths unknowing; Eager to say ‘Here is the way, follow me.’ I set off young, ill-equipped, and eagerly, To a distant snow-capped peak I aimed to journey, Heavy burdensome pack filled to overflowing; Doubt, inexperience, […]