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The spider
The spider. Don’t forget this. Why did she fall? Physics, of course, but why? What meaning is there? Think with your gut; not your head. Make connections in the mundane. She fell. She was perfect. I was frightened. As was predicted. But she cowered, cold and collapsed in the window frame. She too was afraid.…
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Depression
One life: that’s what they say. So let me twirl, let me play; Dance like mad in the fading light. But I take your shawl and wrap it tight; you shallow sallow sunken friend; my dearest foe; a gray reflection as I go. Mutual distortions, you and I; Reflecting the will to survive. Yet, some…
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Be
Why do we drink and smoke? Send ourselves someplace else? Could it be that we are all artists? And life is our canvas? For those brief moments at long cost, We forget who we were and reconnect to something more primal: the need to be, completely naked, completely innocent, completely free.
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Thought for food – 14
On the one side of innocence sits joy; on the other, fear. And the story of your life is written.
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Thought for food – 13 – the perfectionist’s reminder
It is rarely as good as you think it must be, or as bad as you fear it will be.
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Black crows
Black crows are silhouettes against a cotton sky. There is light. And there is dark. The dark cannot subsume the light. Shine a light, and the dark must give way. Shadows are wholly dependent. But light shines of its own accord. Black crows are silhouettes against a cotton sky.
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Be vulnerable
Let them out, give them reign, let those cleansing tears flow. Let them pass, be not ashamed, let those choking fears go. Let it beat, relieve the pain, let your heart’s true rhythm show. Let the soothing abandon engulf you, make its velvet touch your home. Be cradled, pure and vulnerable, and trust, you are…
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Switching costumes
This damn thing is an absurd joke. Oh not again. Not again. I’ve seen myself a thousand times and I have not changed a bit. One day it will all end. The ideals of a frightened boy: all smashed. One day it will all end and the ideals will not save me. We were made…
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Here I choose to live
A new world opened before me. One overflowing with light and love. I am neither reluctant nor expectant to enter, for reluctance implies doubt, expectancy implies dependency; I neither fear what lies within, nor seek salvation. I know this world is meant for me. I will take my time to explore and learn. I will…
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Let love reign
Please take these words, and cast them across a crimson sky. Let the whole world read what I have been led to see. There is no pain so great, nor fear too deep, that a breath of pure love cannot ease. Allow love the day to seize. Let love reign, and be free.
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Lyrics #10 – Nine by Sleeping at Last
Who am ITo say what any of this means?I have been sleepwalkingSince I was fourteen. Now as I write my songI retrace my stepsHonestly, it’s easierTo let myself forget. Still, I check my vital signsChoked up, I realizeI’ve been less than half myselfFor more than half my life. Wake upFall in love againWage war on…
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I walk towards the dancing light
If there is no light, then there is no dark. I have fallen into the dark; I have become despair, doubt, infinite dread. The dark says, ‘Turn your back on the light, there is no hope there; the closer you are permitted to come to the light, the further you will inevitably fall. Stay here,…
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The divine ape
There’s a pain that only I may know. If it is common why do I feel so alone? ‘There is more day to dawn. The sun is but a morning star.’ Has this wisdom failed me, or have I chosen not to see? The love of two bound souls…the curves of hips and naked backs…mouths…
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The victim’s prayer
Dear Lord. Almighty mighty Lord. You have graver grievances to attend, I am sure. But Lord, hear me out. Listen to my (self)-pitiful pleas. Please. They say there is no rest for the wicked. I say what a load of shit. (HORSESHIT my Lord. The wicked rest wonderfully. Deeply. Soundly. Undisturbed by haunting visions of…
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2.0
Then come on out. You step heavily on the narrow ledges of cartilage ringing my throat. My invitation was mailed months ago. Come on out. Let me see you. I have a friend. I have a friend who says my writing is no good. I have a friend who says my writing is no good…
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And yet, compassion
Good out of weakness. Strict normative principles so as to control the world. A moral absolutist so as not to get hurt. Actions not adhering to, not possible to adhere to, such strict moral principles. Hurt inevitably following. Afraid to live. Ashamed to love. Each breath self-reflective. Critical. Analytical. Simply not comfortable in my own…
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The illusory fortress
I know that. Living to avoid life. Erecting walls of fake concrete. Thick. High. Encompassing the spirit, the mind. I know that. Belief in those fake concrete walls. Belief they are impenetrable. Apparent safety within. Each minute head bowed. Praying, sacrificing, worshiping an illusion. Within the comfortable confines of illusory fortresses, ego is king. Weakness…
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Infinite fear
Fear to fear to fear to fear. If sentences could readily bend, I’d twist that one end to end, To illustrate the following truth: Fear brings fear in an infinite loop. Instead a daily dose of wretched I shall permit – Of living life choked by anxious threat; Of more than words bending end to…
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Why glimpse into the ether? – comment
In response to a recent query. I thought it worth sharing, as it highlights the motivation behind the seemingly tortuous mission to ‘know thyself’. ‘For me, I not only glimpse into the ether, I spend days, months, years, living within and breathing the ether. If by ether you mean the unknown, the fear and anxiety…
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The Abyss Post 