Don’t hide behind clichés to justify yourself. Don’t blame the craziness of this world for your crazy actions. Take some goddamned responsibility. Yeah, this life is crazy! Simply acknowledging that does not excuse your craziness, does not give it justification, does not clear the path to forgiveness and understanding. Let me tell you, you don’t […]
Category: self-reflection
The switch
The mind has made a switch, From days inward searching spent, To heed the call of assumed responsibilities, And rejoin the careening wheels of society. The mind has made a switch, And slides sadly into this communal pit.
…rhyming Homer with Homer…
Insight my mind has not brought! Endless loops with doubt fraught! Infinite thoughts pitifully caught! Stagnation has only wrought rot!
Lyrics #8 – A Murder of One – Counting Crows
Check song out here. Blue morning, blue morning Wrapped in strands of fist and bone Curiosity, kitten Doesn’t have to mean you’re on your own You can look outside your window He doesn’t have to know We can talk a while, baby We can take it nice and slow All your life is such a […]
The war of the obsessed mind
With my fingernails broken I scratch, Every single hidden crevice and patch, Until I, tediously excavating the last, Finally from this space move past. And yet with doubt constantly plagued, Trapped wild beast mercilessly caged, In my head the war bloodily waged, Inane, insane, engulfed, enraged. Have you yourself lost in loops been? Thoughts’ ends […]
Catharsis
I’m not reaching out. I’m not playing the victim. I’m not drowning in self-pity (though my knees are definitely wet). I’m reaching inward. I am fighting. I may be drowning in tears of frustration, sadness, hope, joy. I am suffering, but I am not only suffering. I am healing. Slowly, methodically, not always patiently, always […]
An old soul
I am an old soul. I weep at the beauty of woodland paths, of slanted sunbeams breaking through autumn canopies, and falling, twirling, dancing leaves of red, orange, yellow and brown. I love this world. And my existence. The animals in the forest, I know they are there. And that suffices. The trees, the streams, […]
4 am
I apologize in advance; I don’t want to bore you with these things. I know sooner than later I will be speaking alone to the abyss; my voice a fading echo traveling through stale air, reaching no ears. Nobody will hear. The pain, the fear. I want to run. Faster than the wind outside these […]
Lyrics #6 – Beggars by Thrice
Check song and lyrics out here. Beggars All you great men of power, you who boast of your feats Politicians and entrepreneurs Can you safeguard your breath in the night while you sleep? Keep your heart beating steady and sure? As you lie in your bed does the thought haunt your head That you’re really […]
The fasting soul
There are words to capture how I feel, I have lowered my caloric intake to zero To discover what they are. My mind and body are one, Starving for nourishment, Twisting into hungry knots. What matters in this state? This life is all I get, And I fill it with emptiness; Cardboard cutouts of complex […]
Conversations with myself – #2
Stop feeding off my pain. I cannot take it any longer. The burden, the weight, is far too great. I am no longer your scapegoat, your bearer of misfortune. My pain cannot heal you. I am not your savior. Though I love you, I need my strength for me. For me and for them. (When […]
I only move if you push me
It is slowing down. The letters, the words, only now a trickle. A sign of change. Healing, optimism? Or the opposite: resignation? This….this is my life. This is my life? Resignation. Someone, oh someone pick me up! Bathe and clothe and nurture me. Point the way, or better yet, take me there. Oh, someone please […]
Lyrics #5 – Dear Coach’s Corner – Propagandhi
Check song and lyrics out here. Dear Ron MacLean. Dear Coach’s Corner. I’m writing in order for someone to explain to my niece the distinction between these mandatory pre-game group rites of submission and the rallies at Nuremburg. Specifically the function the ritual serves in conjunction with what everybody knows is in the end a […]
Fallen Poseidon
At the Bahnhof I headed toward my favourite salad bar. Located in a renovated wing of the station, one must first walk through a small corridor and a foyer, and as I did so, the smell struck a blow like an invisible acidic wave assaulting my sinuses: sour piss and stale sweat. A moment later […]
Conversations with myself – #1
I can’t force the parts of me to emerge, to come out from hiding. That is one of the paradoxes here: set the mind to let go of control, make that a goal, and the mind automatically elects an executor, gives it the label ‘I’, and sets to work. But by that very act, the […]
Fatherhood – a poem
Originally posted on The Abyss Post:
Silence reason and there, within A fruit of consciousness and reflection, Pushes like a force against the walls of the mind, Like the beauty of a cloudless morn, Something indescribable. On another plane, When you were young, paddling A warcraft canoe with your dad – captain, On Frog Lake…
Dissociation
Stop that grasping, and just let it go. I don’t exist, and never have. This body, this mind, these cells of bone, muscle, nerves and skin. I am an illusion, emerging from a neural network, unifying through gross abstraction, these multiple, interacting, embedded parts. I am and I am not. I am here, but I […]
Bus station ecology
Outside a café by the central bus station. Wasps. A gentle breeze stalling their forward propulsion. They hover, drawn to the foamed milk and cocoa powder topping my cappuccino. Enlightening places: central transportation hubs. A congregation of humanity’s diversity: addicts; homeless; drunkards clasping and gulping bottles of warm beer; schoolkids travelling home from school; workers […]
Twenty-four fountains
Twenty-four fountains. Spitting vertical spouts of clear water a foot high. Each stream pulled down on itself by gravity; unfurling liquid ferns held together by surface tension. At the tip of each transparent crystal frond quickly accelerating towards Earth’s center, fracturing and division as multiple single droplets break free; the droplets pit patting, pit patting, […]
Lyrics #3 – Goner – by Twenty One Pilots
Check song out here. Goner I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I wanna be known by you I wanna be known by you I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I’m a goner Somebody catch my breath I wanna be known by you I wanna be known […]