The spider. Don’t forget this. Why did she fall? Physics, of course, but why? What meaning is there? Think with your gut; not your head. Make connections in the mundane. She fell. She was perfect. I was frightened. As was predicted. But she cowered, cold and collapsed in the window frame. She too was afraid. […]
Category: self-reflection
Black crows
Black crows are silhouettes against a cotton sky. There is light. And there is dark. The dark cannot subsume the light. Shine a light, and the dark must give way. Shadows are wholly dependent. But light shines of its own accord. Black crows are silhouettes against a cotton sky.
Ascending simplicity
It took some time, but they finally arrived, the thoughts leading me to hope again. Here in the cold on a damp bench, water flows and ducks preen, and people walk past hand in hand. I would gladly share this space, and yet I am gladly alone, I just am and they just are, and […]
Thought for food – 12
If we insist on outdueling the other, we will eventually find there is nobody left to whom we relate. A healthy relationship is not a duel of wit or will waged behind defensive walls; but a patient organic blooming of giving, understanding, and compassion. Through giving we may receive; through understanding we may question; through […]
Thought for food – 11 – a moral imperative
To change and develop in a positive direction one needs honest information. This is a reason why lies and deception are so injurious to well-being: they prevent the development of one’s full potential. Honesty to oneself and others is often painful, but so is birth, for mother and baby alike.
Switching costumes
This damn thing is an absurd joke. Oh not again. Not again. I’ve seen myself a thousand times and I have not changed a bit. One day it will all end. The ideals of a frightened boy: all smashed. One day it will all end and the ideals will not save me. We were made […]
Thought for food – 9 – a psychological axiom
There is no such thing as dishonesty. It doesn’t exist in any meaningful sense. In our deepest selves fluctuating values constantly tug on the strings of our wills. Behind any deceptive act is a value held to be true; a belief which, no matter how wrong might appear to another, completely informs the actions of […]
Here I choose to live
A new world opened before me. One overflowing with light and love. I am neither reluctant nor expectant to enter, for reluctance implies doubt, expectancy implies dependency; I neither fear what lies within, nor seek salvation. I know this world is meant for me. I will take my time to explore and learn. I will […]
Let love reign
Please take these words, and cast them across a crimson sky. Let the whole world read what I have been led to see. There is no pain so great, nor fear too deep, that a breath of pure love cannot ease. Allow love the day to seize. Let love reign, and be free.
Transgressions
You know that feeling…that tomorrow can’t come soon enough? Have you been drunk and morally insuperior on a train? Let the wheels chug to your destination… May your confusion rest a night on downed comfort. You fucked up. You know it. This too shall pass.
Lyrics #10 – Nine by Sleeping at Last
Who am ITo say what any of this means?I have been sleepwalkingSince I was fourteen. Now as I write my songI retrace my stepsHonestly, it’s easierTo let myself forget. Still, I check my vital signsChoked up, I realizeI’ve been less than half myselfFor more than half my life. Wake upFall in love againWage war on […]
I walk towards the dancing light
If there is no light, then there is no dark. I have fallen into the dark; I have become despair, doubt, infinite dread. The dark says, ‘Turn your back on the light, there is no hope there; the closer you are permitted to come to the light, the further you will inevitably fall. Stay here, […]
Thought for food – 7
Trust is the silent energy fuelling any healthy relationship; you truly appreciate it once it is broken, for the silence is replaced with the screeching deafening noise of its fragmented and metastatic parts, circulating like screaming cancerous tumours through the withering and dying relationship, illustrating with crystal moral clarity the following truth: trust is the […]
The divine ape
There’s a pain that only I may know. If it is common why do I feel so alone? ‘There is more day to dawn. The sun is but a morning star.’ Has this wisdom failed me, or have I chosen not to see? The love of two bound souls…the curves of hips and naked backs…mouths […]
The victim’s prayer
Dear Lord. Almighty mighty Lord. You have graver grievances to attend, I am sure. But Lord, hear me out. Listen to my (self)-pitiful pleas. Please. They say there is no rest for the wicked. I say what a load of shit. (HORSESHIT my Lord. The wicked rest wonderfully. Deeply. Soundly. Undisturbed by haunting visions of […]
2.0
Then come on out. You step heavily on the narrow ledges of cartilage ringing my throat. My invitation was mailed months ago. Come on out. Let me see you. I have a friend. I have a friend who says my writing is no good. I have a friend who says my writing is no good […]
And yet, compassion
Good out of weakness. Strict normative principles so as to control the world. A moral absolutist so as not to get hurt. Actions not adhering to, not possible to adhere to, such strict moral principles. Hurt inevitably following. Afraid to live. Ashamed to love. Each breath self-reflective. Critical. Analytical. Simply not comfortable in my own […]
The illusory fortress
I know that. Living to avoid life. Erecting walls of fake concrete. Thick. High. Encompassing the spirit, the mind. I know that. Belief in those fake concrete walls. Belief they are impenetrable. Apparent safety within. Each minute head bowed. Praying, sacrificing, worshiping an illusion. Within the comfortable confines of illusory fortresses, ego is king. Weakness […]
Thought for food – 6
Train the mind to dwell in the fraction of a moment after a conscious experience but before the naming of it. There the ego has yet to form; there salvation from the self can be found.
Infinite fear
Fear to fear to fear to fear. If sentences could readily bend, I’d twist that one end to end, To illustrate the following truth: Fear brings fear in an infinite loop. Instead a daily dose of wretched I shall permit – Of living life choked by anxious threat; Of more than words bending end to […]
The Abyss Post 