The Abyss Post

  • The spider

    The spider. Don’t forget this. Why did she fall? Physics, of course, but why? What meaning is there? Think with your gut; not your head. Make connections in the mundane. She fell. She was perfect. I was frightened. As was predicted. But she cowered, cold and collapsed in the window frame. She too was afraid.…

  • Black crows

    Black crows

    Black crows are silhouettes against a cotton sky. There is light. And there is dark. The dark cannot subsume the light. Shine a light, and the dark must give way. Shadows are wholly dependent. But light shines of its own accord. Black crows are silhouettes against a cotton sky.

  • Thought for food – 12

    Thought for food – 12

    If we insist on outdueling the other, we will eventually find there is nobody left to whom we relate. A healthy relationship is not a duel of wit or will waged behind defensive walls; but a patient organic blooming of giving, understanding, and compassion. Through giving we may receive; through understanding we may question; through…

  • Be vulnerable

    Be vulnerable

    Let them out, give them reign, let those cleansing tears flow. Let them pass, be not ashamed, let those choking fears go. Let it beat, relieve the pain, let your heart’s true rhythm show. Let the soothing abandon engulf you, make its velvet touch your home. Be cradled, pure and vulnerable, and trust, you are…

  • Switching costumes

    Switching costumes

    This damn thing is an absurd joke. Oh not again. Not again. I’ve seen myself a thousand times and I have not changed a bit. One day it will all end. The ideals of a frightened boy: all smashed. One day it will all end and the ideals will not save me. We were made…

  • Thought for food – 9 – a psychological axiom

    Thought for food – 9 – a psychological axiom

    There is no such thing as dishonesty. It doesn’t exist in any meaningful sense. In our deepest selves fluctuating values constantly tug on the strings of our wills. Behind any deceptive act is a value held to be true; a belief which, no matter how wrong might appear to another, completely informs the actions of…

  • Here I choose to live

    Here I choose to live

    A new world opened before me. One overflowing with light and love. I am neither reluctant nor expectant to enter, for reluctance implies doubt, expectancy implies dependency; I neither fear what lies within, nor seek salvation. I know this world is meant for me. I will take my time to explore and learn. I will…

  • Let love reign

    Please take these words, and cast them across a crimson sky. Let the whole world read what I have been led to see. There is no pain so great, nor fear too deep, that a breath of pure love cannot ease. Allow love the day to seize. Let love reign, and be free.

  • I walk towards the dancing light

    I walk towards the dancing light

    If there is no light, then there is no dark. I have fallen into the dark; I have become despair, doubt, infinite dread. The dark says, ‘Turn your back on the light, there is no hope there; the closer you are permitted to come to the light, the further you will inevitably fall. Stay here,…

  • The divine ape

    The divine ape

    There’s a pain that only I may know. If it is common why do I feel so alone? ‘There is more day to dawn. The sun is but a morning star.’ Has this wisdom failed me, or have I chosen not to see? The love of two bound souls…the curves of hips and naked backs…mouths…

  • 2.0

    2.0

    Then come on out. You step heavily on the narrow ledges of cartilage ringing my throat. My invitation was mailed months ago. Come on out. Let me see you. I have a friend. I have a friend who says my writing is no good. I have a friend who says my writing is no good…

  • And yet, compassion

    And yet, compassion

    Good out of weakness. Strict normative principles so as to control the world. A moral absolutist so as not to get hurt. Actions not adhering to, not possible to adhere to, such strict moral principles. Hurt inevitably following. Afraid to live. Ashamed to love. Each breath self-reflective. Critical. Analytical. Simply not comfortable in my own…

  • The illusory fortress

    I know that. Living to avoid life. Erecting walls of fake concrete. Thick. High. Encompassing the spirit, the mind. I know that. Belief in those fake concrete walls. Belief they are impenetrable. Apparent safety within. Each minute head bowed. Praying, sacrificing, worshiping an illusion. Within the comfortable confines of illusory fortresses, ego is king. Weakness…

  • Infinite fear

    Fear to fear to fear to fear. If sentences could readily bend, I’d twist that one end to end, To illustrate the following truth: Fear brings fear in an infinite loop. Instead a daily dose of wretched I shall permit – Of living life choked by anxious threat; Of more than words bending end to…

  • Why glimpse into the ether? – comment

    Why glimpse into the ether? – comment

    In response to a recent query. I thought it worth sharing, as it highlights the motivation behind the seemingly tortuous mission to ‘know thyself’. ‘For me, I not only glimpse into the ether, I spend days, months, years, living within and breathing the ether. If by ether you mean the unknown, the fear and anxiety…

  • This is Water – David Foster Wallace

    This is Water – David Foster Wallace

    Note: this commencement speech was given in 2005. It was recently recommended to me by a close friend. It distills and conveys an approach to living that, in my mind, should guide each of us on our journeys. YouTube audio can be found here. “Greetings parents and congratulations to Kenyon’s graduating class of 2005. There…

  • Thought for food – 4

    Thought for food – 4

    Each path a life; the worn and barely used alike. The majority of your fellow travellers rarely, if ever, escape their guiding illusions, their paths crisscrossing the world, forming wide corridors and highways of frenzied activity, leading nowhere. They may have tread many more an empty mile than you, but in your stubbornness and reluctance…

  • Do I know fear?

    Do I know fear? Never been in a war, a burning building. Never heard a gun fire, saw a child die. Never spent the night next to a loved one as she fought for survival. Never slept under a bridge, missed a day without eating. Never been mugged, accosted, molested. Do I know fear? Please…

  • Nightly visitor

    In my sleep? You coward. Attack a man while he slumbers. Red blood dripping from my right nostril. How close were you this time? In my nightmare I could sense your presence. Do you no longer attempt to conceal your footfalls? A coward and hasty. Are you afraid? Is this irony? Can fear by afraid?…

  • Alone in a world of believers

    Alone in a world of believers

    You are blessed and cursed to have found your meaning in the question of meaning itself. Blessed to be motivated to take a journey of deepest discovery, not only of the universe without, but of the universe within. Cursed to be born in a world of believers, who are constantly and continuously tricked by the…

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