There are words to capture how I feel,
I have lowered my caloric intake to zero
To discover what they are.
My mind and body are one,
Starving for nourishment,
Twisting into hungry knots.
What matters in this state?
This life is all I get,
And I fill it with emptiness;
Cardboard cutouts of complex carbohydrates,
And two-dimensional emotions.
In this hunger, there is clarity,
Moments and seconds filled with epiphany,
The animal, the rock, the clouded sky,
Atoms carrying wind whipping my shaven face,
Making it clean.
I have cried twenty kilos of thought and emotion and soaked the parched ground of my soul.
To bring me back into harmony with this universe,
To nurture and let grow the blissful blossoms of my heart,
Opening optimistic avenues awaiting exploration,
I carry lightness and vitality and strength and
Born into this world alone,
Alone I shall die.
I forgive you.
I forgive myself.